How to Plan a Road Trip (Without Losing Your Mind or Your Marriage)
I don't just go on road trips. I commit! So read about how to plan a road trip the Balanced Life Project way—equal parts common sense, chaos, and comedy.
Let’s be honest: planning a road trip sounds romantic.
Freedom! Spontaneity! Insta-worthy sunsets!
But in reality? It’s an intense cocktail of Google Maps, forgotten chargers, bladder management, and a playlist that starts strong but ends in silence and accusations.
After years of road-tripping (and surviving), I’ve distilled my wisdom into one truth:
If the journey is the destination, then pee stops are sacred temples.
Ok so what makes you an expert on Road trips..
Let me get one thing straight: I don’t just “go” on road trips. I commit.
If there were a Guinness World Record for “Most Kilometers Driven with Kids Singing ‘Baby Shark’ on Loop,” I’d have a shrine built in my honor (possibly funded by car seat manufacturers).
We've driven from the southernmost tips of India to where Google Maps starts gasping for breath in the north.
With three kids.
Me as the sole driver.
And no, we didn’t lose any of them. Not permanently, anyway.
I’ve driven in every continent. (Except Antarctica. Those penguins still haven’t paved the roads properly.)
I’ve crossed borders where the only "Visa" I had was my credit card.
I’ve driven on the left side, the right side, the wrong side (unintentionally really), and occasionally off the side completely because Waze said, “Trust me.”
Once, I drove from Thailand to India—a trip where the phrase “Do you have car insurance that covers international elephant crossings?” actually came up.
Another time? Northern Russia to Southern Iran during Ramadan.
Fuel, food, and finding a functioning loo—none of it was guaranteed, but somehow the adventure was.
I’ve tackled roads that look like they were landscaped by meteor showers.
Driven through towns where the road signs were written in a dialect only decipherable by ancient cryptologists—or toddlers doodling in crayon.
And language? Who needs it? I’ve communicated entirely through:
Eyebrows
Horns
The international hand gesture for “I have no clue what I’m doing, but please don’t arrest me.”
So if you think you’ve got the road trip bug, but are worried about language, maps, potholes, or minor legal issues involving goats—don’t worry. I’ve been there, driven that.
Want more tales from the road where I put the ‘Gypsy’ in ‘Ramkey’?
Buckle up and head over to:
🛣️ Ramkey’s 5 Road Trip Commandments (Carved Not on Stone but on the Dashboard with Sticker Tape)
Before we talk playlists, snack boxes, or whether Google Maps is better than your masi's shortcut through the jungle… let’s set the non-negotiables. These are the Five Sacred Rules of the Road Trip, observed religiously by the House of Ramkey. Break them at your own peril—or worse, at the risk of my sarcastic commentary for the rest of the trip.
1. Seat belts are not a choice.
Not clicking in? You're not coming in. There is always that one aunt whose saree will get crumpled by the seatbelt! Hmm…we all have that person in our family!
This is not a philosophical debate. This is physics. The only time you should be flying without a seatbelt is if you're Superman—and even he wore red briefs over his pants for protection. So buckle up or prepare to be heckled by the Waze lady and your mother.
2. No driving after sunset. Especially in India.
Why? Because night driving in India is like playing Need for Speed on a cracked laptop—with half the screen missing and real cows involved.
High beams in your eyes, potholes with PhDs in deception, sudden diversions that lead to sugarcane fields, and that one uncle crossing the road like he’s in a movie climax—no thanks. Its not funny when the tea vendor crosses the highway to get milk from his house on the opposite side!!
After 6 PM, we retire. Not from life—just from the steering wheel.
3. Don’t drink and drive. Seriously, don’t.
This isn’t a joke. If you need convincing on this one, you shouldn't be on the road.
Also, if you ever find yourself saying, “I drive better after one drink,” please get off my trip and onto a reality show titled India’s Most Delusional Drivers. There’s probably a trophy shaped like a crumpled fender waiting for you.
4. There is no point driving beyond 100 km/h in India.
I know, I know. You have a car that can fly. Lovely. But so does that trucker ahead of you—who will decide right now, on an otherwise empty highway, to overtake the other truck travelling at 41 km/h... while he’s doing 42 km/h.
You’ll be boxed in for 14 minutes with nothing but Radio Mirchi ads and your rising blood pressure. So chill.
Drive smooth. Brag less. Live more.
5. Max 10 hours of driving per day.
This is a road trip, not the Ironman. If your eyelids feel heavier than your mother-in-law’s luggage, stop. Find a chai shop. Stretch. Watch a squirrel for 10 minutes if you have to. There is nothing wrong in closing your eyes for 20 mins on the side of the road; just ensure someone is awake in your group, so your belongings dont get stolen (One cant be too careful, now can we?)
Driving tired is the cousin of driving drunk, just without the bar bill. Listen to your body. Especially if it starts hallucinating cows that are actually just white rocks.
Ramkey’s Final Word:
Follow these 5 rules like your life depends on it. Because, well, it does. And trust me, every beautiful road story begins with not being stupid behind the wheel.
Now, onward—to waterfalls, vadas, and the occasional goat photobomb.
Now that we have my commandments out of the way, here’s how to plan a road trip the Balanced Life Project way—equal parts common sense, chaos, and comedy.
1. Set a Goal (Besides “Let’s Just Go Somewhere”)
Ideal Me: Crafts the perfect itinerary with timelines, foodie stops, and “must-visit” waterfalls.
Actual Me: “Let’s see where the road takes us,” followed by 2 hours of lost signal and arguments about whether this is Mysore Bypass or just someone’s very wide driveway.
Ramkey's Rule:
Pick one non-negotiable for the trip (e.g. reach the coast, eat at that legendary idli place), and let the rest go with the flow. The fewer the expectations, the better the stories.
There are road trips, and then there was that time we drove from Chennai to Leh—through high altitudes, non-existent roads, and a network signal that showed more “E” than effort.
Zojila Pass gave us a truck sliding sideways like it had career ambitions in Bollywood stunts.
Khardung La? Oh, just us… hanging off a cliff with one tire in mid-air and the rest of us questioning life choices.
And yes—we didn’t drive by rivers. We drove over them.
Because in Ladakh, if there’s water, it’s probably the road.
We had no guarantees of reaching our destination each day, but somehow the chaos turned into stories—and the best ones began where Google Maps gave up.
2. Divide and Conquer (Roles, Not People)
Every car needs:
A navigator (human GPS + spotter of potholes),
A DJ (bonus if they take requests),
A snack manager (the true MVP),
A family therapist (for that “Why did we take this road?”)
Everyone’s Playlist is equally bad, apparently
Solo travel? Congrats. You’re now all of the above. May your playlist be fire and your bladder be strong.
3. Pack Like a Monk. Snack Like a Sumo.
Let’s face it—you’ll wear the same 2 outfits on repeat.
But snacks? Go big.
Dry fruits (because someone’s always pretending to be healthy)
Banana chips (because they go with everything)
Emergency chocolate (no explanation needed)
And yes, pack that mysterious trail mix. It never gets eaten, but it adds character to your glove box
4. Respect the Bathroom Break
You may have Google Maps. You may have AI. But your bladder is the real trip planner.
Ignore it at your own risk.
One too many “We’ll stop at the next one” moments, and you’ll be squatting in a rice field, regretting your hydration goals!!
5. Maps are Smart. Spouses are Smarter. Sometimes.
GPS will try to guide you.
Your partner will insist that a left turn in 2007 worked fine.
The tea shop uncle at the corner? He actually knows!!
Pro tip: When in doubt, ask a man who’s making tea in a lungi. You’ll reach faster and find the best samosas.
6. Playlists: The Vibe Decider
Start with upbeat tunes. Slide into nostalgia. Avoid sad songs that make everyone stare silently out the window.
A good road trip playlist is:
40% energy
30% nostalgia
20% guilty pleasure
10% random podcast where someone explains why squirrels don’t pay rent
Warning: Three Arijit songs in a row = someone’s about to bring up an ex. Skip immediately.
7. Leave Room for the Unexpected
That detour that looked suspicious?
That unplanned tea stop with the friendly goat?
That temple where you parked only because the kid needed to pee?
Those are the memories.
Balance doesn’t come from planning everything.
It comes from accepting that even the wrong turn was part of the ride.
Bonus: Ramkey’s Road Trip Rulebook (Draft 11.3)
If someone says “I think we’re lost,” respond with “We’re exploring.”
Always refuel when you think about refueling. Not later.
Take that blurry photo anyway.
Travel light. Spiritually and in the boot.
Respect the snack curator. They’re the reason nobody’s killed anyone yet.
In Conclusion
Road trips, like life, are messy, unpredictable, and beautiful in their own way.
You’ll fight. You’ll laugh. You’ll miss THE turn.
And by the end, you’ll want to do it all over again.
Just maybe… with fewer bananas and better offline maps.
Till then, travel light, drive safe, and pee before you leave the petrol station.