🧳 My Rules of Travel (Or How Not to Be That Annoying Guy)

In my 5th article on Travel, here’s a guide—nah, a plea—to help you not become that person. You know, the one who makes everyone else reconsider teleportation!!

May 10, 2025

“Travel teaches tolerance... until you’re seated next to the guy who brought tuna on a 10-hour flight.”
– Me, somewhere over the Atlantic, gasping into a paper napkin

I’ve traveled to 85 countries. Which means I’ve also traveled with approximately 36,720 strangers, 240 questionable group leaders, and at least one elderly woman who tried to dry her socks in the in-flight entertainment system.

Across continents, hostels, and the occasional regrettable group salsa or tai chi class, I’ve identified a universal truth:

Every trip has That Annoying Guy.
(And sometimes… that guy is you.)

So here it is: my humble contribution to the travel community. A rulebook. A compass. A cry for sanity.

Let’s begin.

🗣️1. The Loudspeaker Human

Some travelers believe the world is their podcast audience—and their volume is set to “Drama Teacher with a Megaphone.”

Whether it’s a phone call about your cousin’s kidney stones or blasting Peppa Pig for your toddler (and the rest of row 17), nobody signed up for this.

Rule: If your voice can be heard three rows away, you owe humanity an apology. And maybe a Bluetooth headset

🗣️ 2. Plane Drunks: From Fun to Feral in 2 Beers

You’re allowed to have a drink. But if you’re singing Bon Jovi at 30,000 feet or trying to hug the beverage cart, perhaps it's time to reconsider your life choices.

📍 Rule: Know your limit. The seatbelt sign is not a cocktail invitation.

True horror story: This guy got banned for life after a drunken meltdown mid-air. His legacy lives on—in memes and legal paperwork.

📷 3. Not Every Moment Needs Capturing

The sunset will still happen without your drone shot with lofi beats soundtrack.
That local grandma didn’t wake up today thinking she’d be the thumbnail in your “Spiritual Journey: Part 6” Instagram reel.

Take a deep breath.
Put the phone down.
Let a few moments live just in your brain.

🎥 Bonus: You won’t need to delete 462 blurry versions later while waiting for your boarding gate to open.

“The content gods giveth and taketh away.”

🍽️ 4. Ignoring local culture like it’s optional

Loud, shirtless, selfie-stick warriors of the world—listen up. You are not auditioning for Survivor: Rome Edition.

When traveling in Japan remember to speak softly…don’t wait for a local to tell you to shut up. (yes i have seen that happen)!! Read and understand the local culture.

Rule: Learn “hello” and “thank you” in the local language. Dress like someone who Googled the weather. Respect signs, spaces, and sacred cows.

When you critique noodles, but forget they are sacred

You are traveling to learn about local cultures, aren’t you..create experiences!

And Yes the starbucks in Doha doesn’t make your coffee just like they make it at your neighbourhood in San Diego!!. ( Also, I was in that queue for 30 minutes while everyone was cursing the lady insisting on that particular almond milk and yes she wanted exactly 2 pumps of vanilla.

🧳 5. Pack Like a Human, Not a Fragile Victorian Heiress

You do not need:

Four backup jackets
A Bluetooth milk frother
Your childhood teddy bear “in case the hostel feels haunted”

🎒 Pack smart. You’re not relocating to Mars. You’re going to Lisbon for five days.

I did a separate article on packing!! Take a look…

https://open.substack.com/pub/thebalancedlifeproject/p/the-baggage-of-baggage-why-traveling?

🎧 6. Airports Are Not Your Living Room

Yes, they’re long and weird and full of questionable sandwiches.

But no, this does not entitle you to:

Lie across three chairs barefoot
Watch TikToks without headphones
Brush your teeth in a drinking fountain while humming Coldplay

✈️ Basic rule: If you wouldn’t do it in a Starbucks, don’t do it at Gate 17.

“Behold: The villain of Row 23C”

🎤 7. Your Travel Stories Are Not Universal Currency

We get it. You “found yourself” in Bali.
You had a spiritual awakening in Ibiza (right between the beach rave and the police warning).

Let others speak too.

👂 Every traveler has stories. The good ones know when to share—and when to listen.

“This is my 47-slide journey from man to mango farmer.”

🌍 8. The World Owes You Nothing

The train will be late.
The museum will be closed.
The “hidden beach” will be full of influencers with tripods and tiny dogs.

And that’s okay!

Because if you let go of your curated expectations, you’ll find the real travel moment:
A dog following you for no reason.
A grandma who insists you eat just one more idli.
A view you didn’t plan for, but will never forget.

🌄 That’s the moment.
That’s the story.
That’s the life.

👣 Final Boarding Call

Travel is less about seeing things and more about seeing yourself in new ways — preferably not reflected in the window of an overcrowded tour bus while you argue about bathroom breaks.

So don’t be That Guy.Be the kind of traveler people remember for the right reasons

(Like that time you got lost in remote village in Italy but ended up dancing in a stranger’s wedding. Yes, that happened. And no, I still don’t know whose grandma I was twirling.)

Next week: On popular demand…What credit cards do I use to stretch my savings?

The Balanced Life Project

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